


Stupidly Optimistic

by NicoAndTheNineGalaxies



Series: Vent Fics [14]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Depression, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21826507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicoAndTheNineGalaxies/pseuds/NicoAndTheNineGalaxies
Summary: Just a short vent fic.  Not much to it, but heed the tags.
Series: Vent Fics [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1287113
Comments: 10
Kudos: 36





	Stupidly Optimistic

_ Wow. Okay. Haven’t felt this in a while. _

Lately, when Virgil noticed himself slipping toward a relapse, it was really just that - noticing. There was nothing tied to it, hardly even a thought of how he  _ shouldn’t,  _ just...acknowledging that he was getting worse again.

But really, when he’d been so okay for so long, what else could he expect?

He didn’t want to cut. No. His fingers were itching for a blade, but for some reason he didn’t want to use it on his own skin. Maybe throw it at his wall a couple of times, shatter his mirror, and varieties of other typical angsty depressed teen things, but every time his mind strayed near the possibility of cutting, he shied away from it. He didn’t have to shut down that train of thought - it did that on its own.

That was progress, right?

But sitting alone in the only empty room he could find at that stupid goddamn Christmas party, with his only friends off gallivanting who-knows-where without him.

He’d asked if he could go, too.

They’d told him he couldn’t.

It was so stupid. He’d ordered himself a long time ago not to pin his self-worth on whether or not people wanted him around, but when he was the only one in the group who was told  _ not _ to go with them, it was hard not to feel a little bit worthless.

So, like he usually did when he was sad, he found the most quietly resigned playlist on his phone and he hit shuffle, just letting the web around his mind spin itself tighter and tighter.

Sometimes it felt like the world was against him, but then again, maybe it was just his head. His stupid, fucked-up head.

There was no guarantee that he’d be able to get out of bed in the morning, but he’d be okay. A stupidly optimistic thing to think, really, but it was the truth, and maybe that optimism wasn’t so stupid after all. Maybe he could be hopeful.

After all, he was  _ always _ okay, wasn’t he?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm fine.
> 
> Nico x


End file.
